Keish-- January 5 2004

January 5, 2004


Dear Arri,

Patience may be a virtue, but as you well know, it is one I was not blessed with! So while I am trying my very hardest to wait for your next letter before responding… I’m starting this letter now. After all, even without a response to my letter (was that really only yesterday?) I have plenty to respond to!

I got your letter from the 4th earlier today. I read it at lunch (good thing Jace doesn’t care much about how poorly I play hostess!)

Isn’t it funny that we both had formal audiences the same day? And then we both sat down yesterday morning to write letters. You’ll probably get mine today, so you can read how mine went.

Yours sounds… interesting. Actually I laughed out loud and Father insisted on knowing what you were up to that was so funny. I told him about Brynn and Uncle W. arguing.

He shook his head. “Brynn and that uncle of yours must be the only people in two kingdoms who would forget themselves and start yelling at each other during a royal audience.”

Jace cast a sly grin in my direction. “Well, maybe not the only two,” he said.

I glared at him and replied sternly, “Arguing with Tulson does not count! It’s usually his own fault.”

Father chuckled. “Perhaps you’re right, Jace.”

I scowled as fiercely as I could with soup in my mouth.

I’m responding all out of order, aren’t I? I think I do that every time. Since I have a plenty of time, I shall try to restrain myself and go through your letter in order.

I think it was a good idea to take Liop. One never knows what that scamp will do when no one is looking. Uncle W. probably would have been irritated it Liop burned the cottage down with some spell or something. I’m surprised, though, that he didn’t try a scrying spell to watch the audience with King Trunsle since he couldn’t go in. I imagine he knows enough about them to pull it off. (Don’t tell him that though, it’ll just give him ideas.)

I remember Father’s reaction when I asked if we were going to attend your mother’s funeral. I know it had been some years since my mother’s, but when his face turned white and he wouldn’t answer me I knew it was just going to be too hard for him. I didn’t press the matter. I remember wondering if you would be upset with me for not coming. I was always too scared to ask you.

Nurse Linder… was she the one who came with you when you visited a few months before Liop was born? She didn’t like me much. I don’t think she approved of me. I seem to recall hearing her muttering something about my being undisciplined, wild and entirely unladylike. Not that she was wrong. I was probably at least two of the three.

Jace showed me the sitting room you were in while I was in Rousha. It is certainly very busy. We laughed about the mural. I doubt people dressed that was when they went hunting dragons. Can you imagine how annoying it would be? Those clothes would definitely get in the way. I suppose your mother was wearing a very nice dress when your father rescued her from the dragon, but she hadn’t been planning on running into one, so that’s an entirely different matter.

Only Uncle W. would try to tell the King that he was already making arrangements! People say I’m outspoken, but good grief! Maybe it runs in the family.

I’m glad King Trunsle won’t let Imato just give up on his training. I’m sure he would have regretted it as soon as things settle down. Sir Aoweir didn’t like the idea of giving up on him, or letting him give up on himself.

I’m glad you don’t have to take Feminine Politics. (That made me laugh, which meant I had to read that part to Father… He and Jace both laughed loudly too.) Poor Imato-- he’s so serious sometimes. You shouldn’t have to take it, though, and I’m glad everyone is in agreement on that.

What was Uncle W. talking about? How could proper training lead to your death? Isn’t the opposite more likely? If you were to try to use your magic without training the results could be dangerous. Besides, your mother died of complications from childbirth, didn’t she? What does that have to do with magic? And what, if anything, does Brynn know? She must know (or at least suspect) something to have let it go at that.

What about Master Ujifil? If he looks forward to seeing you often, does that mean you’d be his apprentice? Or is that just because he’ll be treating your father? It’s wonderful that King Trunsle is going to take care of the apprenticeship. Father and I talked about it last night after I sent Hermes off and agreed that we would fund your training if you would let us. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I guess maybe we should have been talking to Father about these sort of things all along. In the future, Father says, you are to let us know of such needs immediately so that we can help. He said he was going to write stern letters to Imato and Uncle W. on the subject (though he didn’t think Uncle W. would necessarily listen.)

The next part of your letter made me laugh again. (Actually, I can’t think of it without laughing, which Jace says, teasingly, is most distracting.) It’s probably a good thing Sir Aoweir thought to give Imato the helmet. I suppose that makes Gretel’s letter to you a little superfluous, but she’s been upset enough she may not have noticed. Actually, she says in her note that she didn’t know if she would be seeing Imato or not. If I were Imato, though, I’d have been far more nervous about facing her, too! (You’ve probably never seen her in a temper… it’s a frightening thing for whomever is on the receiving end. She doesn’t scream or throw things the way I tend to-- she becomes deadly calm.)

Imato, however deserved it! I’m convinced he either thinks too much or not enough. He may be the most frustrating person I know, and you are welcome to tell him I said so.

Jace thinks I’m being too hard on him. “Imato is being cautious,” he said. “You don’t understand the pressure put on young men to make good matches and be able to provide for them so that delicate young ladies” (I snorted at that) “don’t have to know any sort of hardship.”

“One,” I responded, “that sounds very boring, and two, we’re not all that delicate, and three, who said such things were anyone else’s decision to make?!”

Jace’s voice took on a tone not unlike my father’s when he thinks I’m being unreasonable. “But a young man simply cannot approach a young lady’s father to ask permission to court her or to ask for her hand if he has no viable means of supporting the young lady. Fathers are intimidating enough as it is without feeling like you’re asking with nothing to offer in return.”

“My father isn’t intimidating. And I don’t see how Sir Aoweir can be that intimidating either, when Imato already knows he likes him. Besides if I want to marry someone then I want to marry them and if that means we would struggle, then that’s our decision to make. The man can’t just decide without giving the girl a chance to voice her opinions too.”

“That’s part of your problem,” Jace pointed out, “most young ladies don’t have strong opinions and don’t even know what a struggle would mean. If they know from experience, then they probably aren’t that good of a match to begin with. Fathers, on the other hand, know what a struggle would mean because they are older and wiser and have seen more of the world. They have to protect their daughters, it’s their job. If a young man knows the father is going to disapprove because he can’t provide, then it’s better to let the young lady move on.”

I blew out my breath in frustration. “But Sir Aoweir likes Imato and Gretel isn’t that sheltered. Do you honestly think she cares a jot about giving up fancy ball gowns until Imato’s established himself? She has them in spades! It’s not as though Imato has no prospects, he just has to finish his training. And it’s not like they’d be starving and homeless until then. All she wants is to be with him.”

“But it would be more prudent for them to wait until Imato is done. I’m sure Imato is thinking Sir Aoweir holds that opinion. Imato’s just being practical.”

“I think in this case the ‘delicate young ladies’ are being more practical than the young men! They would have her dowry, and she comes of age in April and will receive a portion of her inheritance and they have his wages. Plus, he should receive be receiving his inheritance soon, right?”

“I think finding Sir Quin has likely changed that,” Jace pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. “Even if it has, I’m sure Uncle Quin would be willing to give Imato at least a portion once he’s well enough to do so. Plus once Imato finishes his training and enters knighthood it’s only a matter of time before he has a status equal to Sir Aoweir, so in the long run, what has she lost?”

“But that’s the long run,” Jace said, starting to get ruffled at last. “Imato has to consider what she’ll lose in the short term as well-- and in the short term, he’s still just a squire.”

I was ready to pull my hair out. “Am I the only one who realizes that he only has about 6 months or something left?! It’s not as though they would elope! Even the shortest formal engagement is at least six months.”

“Did you learn that in Feminine Politics?” Jace asked mischievously, hoping, I’m sure, to throw me off.

“I didn’t take Feminine Politics,” I retorted crossly, “which you well know.”

Jace sighed. “Maybe you should have,” he muttered.

I threw a quill at him. It was the best thing in reach since I was still sitting at the table in the library where I’d been writing this. (Where I’m sitting now, actually.) Of course my aim was way off, which is too bad, because he deserved being hit in the forehead for that comment. “What are you talking about? You don’t like that rot any more than I do,” I practically hissed.

“But at least we wouldn’t be having this discussion.”

(There’s that word again-- why do people insist on calling arguments with me discussions?! I think they do it because they know it gets me even more riled up!)

“It’s not my fault that Imato’s being ridiculous. And it certainly isn’t my fault that you’re defending him. Even if they didn’t have her inheritance and dowry, which as far as I’m aware would likely be plenty to live on for months, his wages aren’t nothing. And it’s not as though her parents wouldn’t let them live there or help them out in some way. Lady Aoweir certainly isn’t going to allow Gretel to miss any balls or important social functions. Being married won’t mean Gretel can stop living the status life her mother wants her to have, probably. If their circumstances interfere, Lady Aoweir will step in and make up the difference. And, as I’ve pointed out, the soonest they’re likely to marry is fall, since I’m sure there will be some sort of formal engagement. And they can’t really marry until Uncle Quin is at least making some progress. So that’s plenty of time for Imato to finish up and take his place as a knight. There can’t possibly be objections to the daughter of a knight marrying a knight, can there? And I still say it should be her decision and no one else’s. Surely Sir Aoweir can see that, too.”

I was slightly out of breath and very worked up by this point, so I broke off and went back to writing. Jace looked completely taken aback and how passionate I was. I don’t know why-- I thought he knew how I felt about such things. But then, I was surprised too. I didn’t think he would be so seriously agreeing with Imato! “Fathers are intimidating” indeed. It’s not as though he’s had experience going about asking for the hands of this or that young lady. At least, I should certainly hope he hasn’t, for he’s not said a word about it to me and he’s been telling me practically everything for years now. (Just as I’ve been telling him.)

Perhaps he was more taken aback than I originally thought, though. He’s been silent for an hour. That doesn’t mean he agrees with me, of course. I’m sure he still thinks Imato is being perfectly sensible. Though I do hope he realizes I made some good points.

Speaking of good points, I could also go on and on about Imato’s concern that something might happen. That, as I understand it, is life. Of course something will happen, but it doesn’t follow that it will be something bad. You can’t live in fear of vague possible disasters. What if our parents hadn’t married because they were worried something might happen? Things did happen to them, both good and bad, and that’s what has made us who we are.

I just read that last bit to Jace, hoping to draw him out of his rather distracting reverie. He says I’m waxing philosophical.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re entirely wrong,” he says, giving me a broad smile. It’s even more distracting than his peculiar silence was, so I’m sending him off to see about tea.

As he left, he poked his head back in the room. “I’m sorry for what I said about Feminine Politics. I’m glad you didn’t take it.”

“I know, but it was very bad of you to say,” I responded.

He just grinned and shut the door before I could throw something at him again.

I’m sorry Imato was disappointed. He probably doesn’t understand that it’s more difficult for a young woman, especially when you haven’t come of age and aren’t completely sure who knows best, to interrupt that kind of an argument. Just because you were quiet doesn’t mean you’re weak. Sometimes it’s better to let the argument blow over before adding your thoughts. (I know, I know, this sounds strange coming from me, but if you’d started yelling like I would have, what would have happened? The argument would have just gotten worse and Uncle W. wouldn’t have really been listening to you anyway. Much better to go to him after he’s calmed down some.) I’ve always known you have it in you to stand up to him. I’m sure he’ll let you once he realizes how important it is to you. I know Brynn and I and Imato have all told him that, but it’ll mean more coming directly from you (and he’ll be able to see it’s not just my idea or something). Or you could always come here and live with us. Father could arrange and apprenticeship, I’m sure.

I’m glad you set Imato straight about Gretel. They’re both in your debt, I think. I’m sure I’ll hear a lot of details when Gretel returns-- which I hope is soon, though I guess it wouldn’t be fair to separate her from Imato right away. But then again, maybe Imato will be coming back to Adya soon, anyway. Or will he stay until you are settled in Rousha? (Then again, I may know before I even send this off.)



It’s night now. At dinner I asked Father about his letters to Uncle W. and Imato. He had already written them both.

“I told Winthrop that he was being a stubborn, prideful fool not coming to me. We are family, after all. I don’t see why he didn’t write or even mention it while we were there for Christmas! He acted as though everything had been taken care of, arrangements all made, payments decided upon. I didn’t offer help because he made me think everything was done.”

I chuckled. “What did you say to Imato?”

“A lot of the same things-- that he should have come to me. Especially since Winthrop was making an idiot of himself. If he had simply written a letter he could have let the adults handle everything and gone back to his training.”

I nearly dropped my fork. “You didn’t say that, Father.”

He nodded, looking confused at my tone.

I looked at Jace (who was so staunch in defending Imato earlier in the day), but he was suddenly very interested in the fish course.

“Father,” I began gently, “Imato is an adult. He may not have finished his training yet, but he’s 21 years old. You and Uncle Winthrop have to stop treating him like a child.”

Father blinked. “I’m not treating him like a child. I just want him to be able to finish his training. He can’t do that very well if he’s worried all the time about taking care of everything.”

“I know, but he’s not going to see it that way. He’s going to feel like you think he’s 12. Why do you think he and Uncle Winthrop keep arguing? He wants to be allowed to be the adult he is.”

At this point Father looked to Jace for help, but he was still intent on the fish (he was apparently trying to ensure that the sauce was spread as evenly as is humanly possible). I kicked Jace under the table, but he just smiled without looking up. I glared at him.

I turned back to Father. “The fact is that if you don’t rewrite it, it will serve the opposite effect. It will simply convince Imato that you are like Uncle W. and he most certainly won’t come to you for help. It would be better to be on friendly terms, especially since he’ll be coming back to Adya.”

He finally agreed to rewrite the letter. I think he saw my point once he’d thought about it. Jace did quite an amazing job cleaning his plate. He can be very aggravating.

After dinner we went up with Father to the observatory. Jace was finally helpful, keeping an eye on what little could be seen through the clouds. I supervised while Father rewrote the letter. It’s much better now.

It’s late, So I will put this away for now.



Jan. 6th



Grr. Blaze seems to think that the moment the slightest bit of light sneaks in through the crack in the curtains he has a duty not to let me miss it. Personally, I would like to sleep until the sun is high enough that it demands attention, but no, he’s got me up when the sun isn’t even sure it’s up. In fact, this morning, it wasn’t even a hint of sunlight glimmering through the curtains, it was the light from the servants’ tower. Grr.

The advantage to this (the ONLY advantage) is that it has given me a chance to look over this letter and write more before breakfast. And rereading it I noticed that I completely forgot to tell you about the other letter I received yesterday.

It came in the morning, but when I got yours a few hours later I forgot abut it. It was not at all a letter I expected. It was from Jace’s mother.

Remember I told you we’d had tea the day I was in Rousha? It was kind of odd-- having tea alone with a woman you’ve only just met that day, but upon whose household you’ve wreaked a fair bit of havoc over the years. I like her and we had an enjoyable discussion on growing up at court (she’s the daughter of a knight, but then you likely knew that), but it was still just a bit odd.

I guess she liked me, though, because this letter is an invitation to spend the day after the ball shopping with her and Taty. She says the market will be larger than usual for the Winter Festival and the shops will have all their best merchandise out. There’s a letter here for Gretel, too (who apparently instructed the couriers to bring her mail to me… I’ll have to ask her about that). Lady Pren says she has sent a letter to you as well. I guess it’s probably waiting for you in Odsreq. (She must not have known you’d be in Rousha.) She hopes I can persuade you to join us unless your father’s condition absolutely prevents it.

Jace laughed at that. “Between Mother, you, and Gretel Arri had better just say she’ll come or she may find herself pulled out of the house in her dressing gown!” I glared at him and he laughed more.

Jace is here to find out why I haven’t come down to breakfast. “Make sure you tell Arri not to worry about what to do with Liop while she’s out with you ladies-- I’ll take him on a tour of Old Rousha and I promise to keep him out of trouble. With her permission, I’ll write him a letter inviting him to spend the day with me,” he says. He’d just write the letter, but he wants to make sure it’s okay before he gets Liop’s hopes up.

Well, breakfast is cooling and Father wants my opinions on the possible implications of the current proximity of Jupiter to the constellation of the Unicorn. So I guess I shall put this away again.



Evening

Gretel’s back! (I know, it’s completely selfish of me to be so excited when she and Imato can’t spend more time together, but I’ve really missed her these last couple of months.) I’m sure Imato has already told you what happened when he went to find her the other morning, but I somehow can’t picture him giving you a detailed account, so I’ll tell you what Gretel said. Perhaps it’s not a fair judgment of Imato. If that’s the case, it might still be fun to compare versions of the story. Anyway, here is what happened, with minimal commentary from me, as Gretel told it.

“The sun was barely rising when Imato knocked at my door. I hadn’t slept well, so I was already in a morning gown. I’d been staring out the window trying to decide if I’d been to hard on him [I told her she probably hadn’t]. I was glad to see him, especially since it seemed he was radiating a new confidence.

“’I’m sorry,’ he said simply, taking my hand and sitting beside me on the window seat.

“I nodded. ‘Me too.’

“’But you were right,’ Imato said. ‘I shouldn’t have written you that letter. I’ve just been so worried about everything.’

“I tried not to smile at the look on his face. ‘What changed?’ I asked him.

“He chuckled. ‘I talked to Arri. She gives pretty good advice for a little sister.’ His smile was larger and happier than anything I’d seen from him before.
“’You can’t be just figuring that out,’ I told him sternly. ‘You have a wonderful sister. I wish…’ I trailed off uncertainly.

“’It’s true,’ he said softly. ‘Shall I share her?’

“I looked up sharply. Was he saying what it sounded like he was saying? ‘Don’t you dare toy with me, Imato Quin Etautca,’ I told him.

“His eyes were sparkling like Liop’s do when he’s trying a new spell. ‘After yesterday do you think I’d dare do anything resembling toying with you?’ [“Not if he’s half as smart as his siblings,” I muttered at this point in her narrative.]

“My eyes filled with tears. I don’t know what I pictured this moment would be like, but I’m sure it was far more wonderful than I could ever have imagined. [Here I rolled my eyes.] ‘I’ve always wanted a sister,’ I admitted.

“His face grew more serious. ‘I still have to talk to your father.’

“I laughed. ‘He’ll be very pleased to talk to you.’

“He still looked somewhat troubled. ‘And I don’t know when the wedding could be. I still have months of training, and I don’t know how long it will take for my father to recover and…’

“I put my hand firmly over his mouth. ‘There will be plenty of time to sort all that out. Just knowing I can be your wife is enough…’” [Apparently Imato interrupted her here, but she just blushes and nearly giggles. I’ll assume that means he kissed her. I don‘t suppose that‘s a detail he‘ll give you.]



I guess then Imato went to talk to Sir Aoweir. Then of course, Gretel and her father left for home and I guess you and Imato and Liop and Uncle W. did too. It is too bad that they had to be separated so quickly after becoming betrothed.

So Gretel arrived just after lunch and we spent the afternoon trading stories about the winter. Jace helped me tell stories about our journey for a while, but then we sent him away so that we could dress for dinner. It was Jace’s farewell dinner and it was to be a formal, if small, dinner. (Well, okay, as formal as I can persuade myself to be. After two months away I thought we may as well try a formal function, or an informal formal function, as Jace called it.)

Father was in absolutely rare form. I think he told every joke he knows. He was jolly through every course, laughing merrily at anything anyone said that even approached being funny and sometimes… snickering (or something… I can’t think of a better word) to himself for no apparent reason at all. Have you ever seen my father snicker? Until tonight, I hadn’t either. It was very odd. If he were at all prone to drinking I would have suspected he had been having wine earlier, rather than tea. It was nearly as distracting as Jace’s smiling.

I do hate to let Jace go, but it’s not as though I can order him to stay. Well, okay, I suppose I could, but it wouldn’t be very polite of me. It will be Taty’s birthday soon and I have kept him from his family long enough (which really is just one of those things one tells oneself whether one agrees with one’s self on the matter or not is another matter entirely).



Jan. 7th midmorning

I beat even Blaze this morning, waking early to see Jace off. I was sorry to see him go, but I tried not to let him see just how sorry. He didn’t seem to want to go, but said he must speak with his father about several things and left with a certain air of purpose.

I resisted the temptation to return to bed (as if Blaze would have let me) and went up to the observatory. Father was acting somewhat silly again, and as soon as he had had his breakfast I sent him to bed and went looking for Gretel.

The court is positively buzzing about her and Imato. I’ve never understood how so much gossip can have circulated so far and so quickly! I suppose since it’s been a few years since you’ve lived in Rousha maybe you’ve not experienced it, but it’s quite a phenomenon. Gretel’s been back less than a full day and already everyone is talking about what a wonderful match she’s made. Lady Aoweir, of course, has been spreading much of this gossip to make the other mothers jealous. It’s quite the favorite pastime at court, you know. She has made certain that everyone knows that Imato rescued Uncle W. and your father (which technically he doesn’t deserve all the credit for and I’ve had to bite my tongue several times to avoid saying as much) and that King Trunsle has declared him to be Elcaro’s most promising squire and how he’s bound to follow his father as captain. Apparently Lady Aoweir is no longer bothered about the fact that your brother is not landed.

That’s all of the legitimate gossip. There’s also a great deal of ridiculous gossip, probably also started (slyly) by Lady Aoweir, though I’m sure she’d deny it (it’s all part of the game to women at court). Some of it, though, is getting silly. If I’m asked once more how many dragons Imato has slain (the current estimate is 4), I’ll likely go insane. (Ah, court life)

Well, Gretel and I are to have lunch with Marie and help her with gowns and such.



Jan. 8th

I am supposed to tell you that you are not to worry in the slightest about a new gown for the ball. Don’t ask, that’s all I’m allowed to say. You’ll just have to trust me on this.

Gretel and I went to have lunch with Marie (you remember, she’s the girl who used to be a servant, but found out she’s the daughter of a knight). It was a much more enjoyable lunch than the one with Vanessa, even if we did talk about gowns. Marie is to be formally presented at court in a couple of days, so after lunch we went with her for her fitting. It’s fun to spend time with her without her having to be working. She’s been away near the sea getting to know her father.

Gretel and I decided we may as well take the opportunity to see about gowns for the ball. (And naturally there was a discussion of wedding gowns and trousseaus and such, but Gretel demurred for the most part, declaring that she was not starting that process until she and Imato had further discussed dates and such.) One of the dressmaker’s assistants, Annette, always keeps an eye out for things I would like. She’s been helping me keep things mended (since I’m so miserable at it and I always have something in need of mending) for a while now. She set aside a lovely crushed velvet that exactly matches my eyes, which is no mean feat.

Now, you know my sketching is at least as deplorable as my mending, and I’m certainly no designer, but with a few patterns and a little magic, I was able to design my own gown. It will use the crushed velvet and some silver brocade. It’s funny, I always hated going through fittings and everything, but after having been gone so long it’s kind of exciting to get a new gown. I guess court life is a part of me after all. Not that I want to bury myself in it-- in fact I’m avoiding Vanessa who wants Gretel and I to come to tea or lunch, or something now that Gretel’s back. I, however, have no intention of subjecting myself to that again. If Gretel chooses to accept, she’s on her own. (Oh, I’m enclosing the sketches of my dress, since I’m not very good at describing such things in detail.)

Now that I’ve told you about yesterday, I shall answer your letter. I received it not long ago, and read it, but I had to put things down in order.

Gessair is not going anywhere any time soon. King Menion has not formally decreed what will happen to him, but I rather hope he’s simply put to death. Letting him recoup his magic would really not be a good idea.

I’m sorry no one would let you do anything. That is the chief difficulty of being a young lady. No one wants to let you do anything. It’s quite frustrating.

Poor Uncle Winthrop. It must be hard for him to have Aunt Nysa not remember him. I’m glad she is comfortable with you, though. It must be very hard for her, too. All of this is strange. I wonder if she remembers my mother. I hope she continues to remember things. I wonder what Brynn will have to say about it. Do you think they know each other? I don’t know how long it’s been since Brynn left the ring. I never thought to ask.

Mendel does come up with odd compliments, doesn’t he? What a strange thing to say. I’d consider it a compliment, though. Well, of a sort.

Imato does think about courtship too much. And if he doesn’t think much about Tulson and Clara he’s never seen them together. (Not that I have, but I’ve read your accounts of such times) As to the rest of it, if they were courting you, wouldn’t they have gone to Uncle W. or Imato for permission? Mendel doesn’t sound as though he is thinking about courting anyone. I don’t know about Sean, though. How much older is he than you?

I suppose that does explain why the Queen just sat there taking notes. But would it be proper for a princess to be a healer?

I can’t seem to hold the quill from laughing, everything Imato said is so funny. I’ll have to tell Gretel later.

I hope things are going well with Nysa, and that your magic test went very well. You’ll have to let me know what Brynn says about it all. I’ll close now, because I fear that if I write more I will need more than just Hermes and Clotho to send this. (It’s lucky I have both of them here now)

Love always

Keish

View the Sketches

Go to NEXT Letter